Now I know what you’re thinking: kool aid pie? It sounds totally ridiculous. It also sounds like the epitome of eating on the cheap, considering that this is all the dish boils down to:
+
So think of it this way: who doesn’t love watching the kool-aid man randomly crush through a wall? (By the way, why doesn’t anyone ever get mad at the kool-aid man for ruining their house?) Besides what other beverage can cool you off on a hot summer day without any regard to flavor? Yes, this is me saying that “blue” is not a flavor.
Also, what kind of person doesn’t like cool whip? Just hearing about a dollop of cool whip being added to a slice of cake/pie makes my heart sing.
One of my roommate’s close companions made this dish recently and ever since I had my first taste, I’d been dying to not only make it, but put my own spin on this uncomplicated classic.
First of all, I decided to make this dish a touch more complicated by making my own crust. Now this should be easy. All you do is pulse some graham cracker crumbs, throw in some sugar and butter, and you’re in business.
Totally simple right?
However, when you have one QUALITY dumbass moment per day, it’s likely that the moment might get used up in one of the most simple and most crucial elements of the recipe.
Dear Jessamyn,
If a recipe calls for 1/4 CUP of sugar, don’t put in ONE FULL FUCKING CUP.
Kisses,
Your Brain.
Now this isn’t to say the crust didn’t look nice. There were even some crispy edges to make it look especially Paula Deenish.
However, when one attempted to cut/bite the pretty pie crust, accidental tooth removal occured. What’s the problem? Well, for those of you who (like myself) decided paying attention in chemistry was below you, here’s a quick lesson on the reaction of baking techniques and human health.
Too much of this:
+ Too little of this:
Equals:
And as far as I know, the tooth fairy stops coming after you grow the hell up and learn some sense.
However, after this foray into stupidity, the rest of the pie land adventure went fairly smoothly. I grabbed my trusty cool whip, kool aid, and evaporated milk.
I chose to use lemon-lime kool-aid (green flavor, as it’s known colloquially) but you can use whatever flavor strikes your fancy. In the future I think I’ll go with blue, my personal favorite, because the final flavor profile of lemon-lime tastes kind of like the poor man’s key lime pie. Officially NOT what I was aiming for.
However, the final product did look ok.
My team and I thought that, even with the extra crust chewing, it tasted pretty good, too. I mean, like I said, cool whip and kool aid? Kind of a match made in heaven.
(There were a few problems getting the pie to firm up adequately, but I’ll chalk that up to my 278729874197 year old refrigerator and it’s amazing ability to never be quite cold or warm enough.)
Overall Grade: B-
