So I have a serious craving for this:
But I have a serious deficit of this:
Other obstacles:
—It’s Sunday and I live in the Bible belt. Therefore, all the cheap grocery stores are closed today. Or they are too far away and I’ve got about six miles of gas in my vehicle. What’s the deal, Aldi? Poor people need food, too!
Put your thinking cap on, Jessamyn. This could be a meal:impossible. But I believe you can successfully create an outstanding shepherd’s pie on your ‘no money budget’. Ready, Set, Go.
So yes: I’ve been neglecting you, tumblr. But never fear! A new month means a new mission: POST MORE.
I’ll start things off with this DANK* sandwich I made on a day when I was running out of food and time. I actually found the recipe on one of my favorite websites, instructables.com. This recipe actually calls for sourdough bread, but it tasted just as good with Harris Teeter English toasting bread.
http://www.instructables.com/id/Apple%2c-Cheddar-%26-Bacon-Sourdough-Sandwich/
I’m terribly about watching my netflix in a timely fashion. It is not at all unusual for a film to sit, unwatched, on my desk for over a month. This month’s victim? The gut-wrenching sob fest known as Sophie’s Choice.
Things to know about Sophie’s Choice?
1. Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline are pretty good at their jobs.
2. The Holocaust is……I think you get the idea.
3. This is really really really REALLY sad movie.
Since we’re watching such a sad movie about post-WWII America and, specifically, a beautiful Polish Émigré, why not take this opportunity to make a really heavy comfort like pierogi lasagna.
Yeah, that’s right. Potatoes, cheese, lasagna noodles: trust me, it’s as delicious as it sounds. However, it’s also extremely heavy and dense. And it might make you comatose. But it’s totally delicious, and a side of kielbassa finishes the meal out perfectly.
Aleta Meadowlark of omnomicon brought this recipe to my attention so if you’d like to try out this recipe (and sample her brilliance), check it out.
Now I know what you’re thinking: kool aid pie? It sounds totally ridiculous. It also sounds like the epitome of eating on the cheap, considering that this is all the dish boils down to:
+
So think of it this way: who doesn’t love watching the kool-aid man randomly crush through a wall? (By the way, why doesn’t anyone ever get mad at the kool-aid man for ruining their house?) Besides what other beverage can cool you off on a hot summer day without any regard to flavor? Yes, this is me saying that “blue” is not a flavor.
Also, what kind of person doesn’t like cool whip? Just hearing about a dollop of cool whip being added to a slice of cake/pie makes my heart sing.
One of my roommate’s close companions made this dish recently and ever since I had my first taste, I’d been dying to not only make it, but put my own spin on this uncomplicated classic.
First of all, I decided to make this dish a touch more complicated by making my own crust. Now this should be easy. All you do is pulse some graham cracker crumbs, throw in some sugar and butter, and you’re in business.
Totally simple right?
However, when you have one QUALITY dumbass moment per day, it’s likely that the moment might get used up in one of the most simple and most crucial elements of the recipe.
Dear Jessamyn,
If a recipe calls for 1/4 CUP of sugar, don’t put in ONE FULL FUCKING CUP.
Kisses,
Your Brain.
Now this isn’t to say the crust didn’t look nice. There were even some crispy edges to make it look especially Paula Deenish.
However, when one attempted to cut/bite the pretty pie crust, accidental tooth removal occured. What’s the problem? Well, for those of you who (like myself) decided paying attention in chemistry was below you, here’s a quick lesson on the reaction of baking techniques and human health.
Too much of this:
+ Too little of this:
Equals:
And as far as I know, the tooth fairy stops coming after you grow the hell up and learn some sense.
However, after this foray into stupidity, the rest of the pie land adventure went fairly smoothly. I grabbed my trusty cool whip, kool aid, and evaporated milk.
I chose to use lemon-lime kool-aid (green flavor, as it’s known colloquially) but you can use whatever flavor strikes your fancy. In the future I think I’ll go with blue, my personal favorite, because the final flavor profile of lemon-lime tastes kind of like the poor man’s key lime pie. Officially NOT what I was aiming for.
However, the final product did look ok.
My team and I thought that, even with the extra crust chewing, it tasted pretty good, too. I mean, like I said, cool whip and kool aid? Kind of a match made in heaven.
(There were a few problems getting the pie to firm up adequately, but I’ll chalk that up to my 278729874197 year old refrigerator and it’s amazing ability to never be quite cold or warm enough.)
Overall Grade: B-
Just like any scientist, I have a team of companions who will be helping me out on this journey. They will be my shopping companions, sous chefs, and taste testers. Here’s the line-up:
H. Lane Sowinski- Official Photographer/Food tasting Extraordinaire
Meet Lane. As evidenced by the photograph above, Lane knows his way around a fast food joint. While he has conquered many cheeseburgers, Lane is an expert on the proper preparation of Taco Bell meals. However, Lane has not only agreed to photograph all of the Frugal Student adventures, but he will also be one of the resident “eaters”.
Sara Reynolds- Master of Cupcakes
Meet Sara. Even before Sara became one of the best bakers in the triad, she nursed a life long love for sweet things. Red velvet, chocolate, vanilla, banana…you name it, she loves it. Sara will bring her optimistic attitude to The Frugal Student, along with her knowledge of all things sweet and baked.
Whitney McDavid- Priestess of Egg Separation and Duchess of Yard Sales
Meet Whitney. Though Whitney keeps quiet about her cooking skills, she makes one of the meanest strawberry pies in the state of North Carolina. Also, due to many years of experience, Whitney is an expert egg separator. Therefore, she will be the resident egg separator, as well as chief Frugal Student shopping companion.
Brittany Snow- All-knowing Shopping Goddess
Meet Brittany. Brittany, aside from being the cutest member of the Frugal Student team, is also a well seasoned and informed shopper. From boots to band-aids, Brittany is the #1 source for information on all things shopping related. Look for Brittany during our late-night shopping adventures, as well as early morning yard sale rummaging.
Jessica “Mouse” Pennell- Duchess of Raisin Bran
Meet Jessica, otherwise known as Mouse. While she may not be the most creative chef, the Mouseketeer knows what she likes and is able to stick with it in a most impressive fashion. However, though she knows what she likes, she is not afraid to step out of her comfort zone and try new flavors. This makes her a perfect candidate for taste testing.
Sarah Griffin- Cookie Queen
Meet Sarah, the newest member of The Frugal Student. Sarah exhibits many qualities we at The Frugal Student consider to be invaluable, the most important of which is her willingness to try new things and her open embrace of the unknown. From midnight treks to coastal towns, to random cookie bakes, Sarah is an asset to any team and she will bring her enthusiasm to the recipes and adventures of The Frugal Student.
Am I forgetting someone? Oh, that’s right.
Jessamyn Stanley- The Frugal Student
Meet Jessamyn. For the past 22 years, she’s been having a love affair with eating, drinking, and the art of being merry. She is constantly looking for an opportunity (or excuse, depending on how you choose to look at it) to cook or buy something. However, while Jessamyn loves to acquire new items and cook/create new recipes, she does not enjoy spending money. Therefore, she does what the average college student would not dream of: buy groceries and cook her own meals from scratch. Jessamyn is also a certified yard sale fanatic, spending every peak season* Saturday morning perusing yard sales in the area surrounding her home. Jessamyn wishes all college students would realize the many opportunities to be gained by cracking open a cookbook, or waking up before the sun rises to go yard saling. She hopes that The Frugal Student will, in an unpretentious manner, wake the masses and (somehow) start a cooking and shopping revolution.
*N.C yard sale peak season stretches from late April- mid-September. Start your engines, kiddies.
And I mean ACTUALLY cook. Here are some common “food groups” consumed by college students, the preparation of which should not be considered cooking:
Food Group #1:
1. 
Ok, I’m not going to lie, I have enjoyed many a bowl of Maruchan ramen noodles. Chicken flavored ramen noodles, paired with the second item on this list, have been the fuel and driving force behind many last minute assignments, not to mention the requisite “all-nighter.” However, who actually considers this to be a real food option?
As much as I’ve enjoyed my fair share of noodle soup, this image does not strike me as the ideal cuisine for any human being.
Food Group #2:
2.
In high school I had a friend who considered Starbucks coffee to be an omitted food group from the food pyramid. While I’m sure there are students who do not consider coffee to be one of their daily needs, I’m sure those ten people would agree that the vast majority of students walk around acting as though they need a dark roast blend IV in order to even cohabitate with other people. Maybe it’s just me, but I seem to know countless people who refuse to attend class without their non-recyclabe paper coffee cup. Now, THIS looks pretty delicious:
But how many 18-24 year-olds are firing up the cappucino machine every morning to make something like this? Yeah, right. Typically, “coffee” really means this:
Now, whether or not I find a breakfast of coffee and cigarettes to be healthy (in any situation) is not up for debate. The reality is: buying (or even making) coffee (with or without half a pack of Marlboro reds) does not count as cooking.
Food Group #3
3.
I get it: cheeseburgers are delicious. In my opinion, whoever initially dropped potatoes into grease and dipped them in ketchup (or mayonnaise, as the case probably actually was) is one of my heroes. However, the consumption of McGiantAss Burger plus two servings of McGreasy fries does not count as cooking. Granted, there are many ways to actually cook burgers at home, but very few students are actually doing this.
There are always excuses: no money, no time, etc. However, if you took the money you spent on coffee and fast food and went to the grocery store, you would not only get more food but you would also eat better. Isn’t it worth it to know exactly what’s in your food?
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a tall latte and creamy chicken ramen just as much as the next girl. I just want to use my experiences as a blueprint for the student who thinks they don’t have the time/money/energy to pursue different options.
That’s my mission. What’s yours?
